Unbreak my Heart
by barrani
Summary: Hotch loves Emily, but she gets scared and runs. Will Hotch survive?
1. A happy world gone

A/N I know that the writing style is very different. It's intentional the commas, semicolons, colons, periods, and ellipses indicate a break in the thought or the person's words (ellipses being the longest and commas the shortest). The pauses change the meaning slightly.

She woke up with a man's arms around her, and she sighed contently. She leaned back into his body and let his scent fill her nostrils. She would remember it for the rest of her life. She didn't want to move from this position. She wanted to stay in this moment forever. To feel HIS arms around her, to breathe in HIS scent, to feel his breathe on her neck. This was Heaven. And she was about to walk away forever. Last night had been the greatest night of her life. He made love to her, it went far beyond sex. Every movement, every touch, everything he did told her he loved her. It told her that she was his universe. It told her he loved every fiber of his being. And it scared her. She had never known love like this. Sure she had read about it, but that was only in romance novels and stuff like that. It didn't exist in real life. But last night proved her wrong, last night showed her that it was real. And he felt it for her. She wasn't ready for it. She loved him, had for a long time. But she needed to get out of here. She needed to be able to think. And she wasn't going to be able to do it with him anywhere near her. But she wanted one more moment in his arms, and then she would leave.

As she got to her car she turned and looked back at his house. She hoped that that this would not be the last time she saw it. And as she started the car and drove away, tears started to pour down her face.

He woke with the biggest smile on his face. Last night had been the most incredible night of his life. But something was wrong. His arms felt empty. He opened eyes and scanned the room. She wasn't there. Her clothes weren't on the floor. He smiled as he thought back to their actions last night. He wasn't worried about her not being there, she probably just had to go home and change; he'd see her in a little while. He had to get ready he had a long morning ahead of him, he couldn't afford to get lost in his daydreams about the woman of his dreams.

A couple of hours later he was in his car driving to the office; he was smiling; in about fifteen minutes he was going to see her again. The smile he woke up with had been on his face all day. He knew that it looked out of place on his face. SSA Hotchner never smiled, but try as he might he couldn't get it off his face or replace it with the mask he wore every day. Although if he was being honest he wasn't trying very hard. Nothing could affect him today. Today he was invincible. The fact that it was a beautiful sunshiny day in the middle of winter only enhanced his mood. It seemed someone up there liked him. His ringing phone broke him out of his reverie.

"Agent Hotchner."

"Aaron, have you heard from Emily today?"

"No, I haven't Dave. What's up?"

"You sure you don't know where she is? When was the last time you saw her?"

He knew Dave wouldn't mind the truth, hell Dave had been the one pushing him towards her in the first place.

"Aaron did something happen last night?"

"Yeah Dave, something happened. Something amazing happened. Something Earth shattering."

"That's... That's amazing Hotch."

"Dave why aren't you happy for me. You were the one pushing me to make a move. Well I did and it changed my world. And it's all because of you."

"Aaron there's something you need to know."

"Dave you're starting to scare. What's going on?"

"Aaron... Emily left a note. ... Along with her badge and gun."

Hotch's world started to implode. "What does the note say, Dave?"

"I think you should wait until you get here to hear it. You're driving, just wait till you get here."

Hotch's voice shook with anger and pain as he gutted out the words, "Dave tell me what the note said."

"It's a resignation letter and there is a note to you. It says, 'I have to go don't try and find me. I'm sorry for everything.'"

And with that Hotch's universe exploded into billions of tiny pieces.

"Aaron we will find her. I promise you Aaron; we will find her. I'll get Garcia started on it right now."

Hotch wanted to say something, he wanted to tell Dave ok he'd be in shortly. He wanted to tell him thank you for looking for her. He wanted to tell him anything. But he couldn't. His mouth didn't work. He closed the cell phone, and everything shut down.

The next thing he knew he found himself in a bar. He sat down at the bar. "I'll have Jack Daniels. Make it a double." He stared at the drink for a moment and then tossed it back. "Another." He stared at the drink once again before tossing it back in one motion. "Another."

The radio that was playing in the bar switched back from commercials and started to play a tune.

He laughed. It was a laugh without joy or mirth.

"Turn it up barkeep. It seems someone up there has a weird sense of humor."  
He listened to the music and closed his eyes. His mind replayed two events, last night and Dave's call. He tossed back the drink.

"Let's save time just give me the bottle. And turn the music up."

He grabbed the bottle and slowly walked table and poured himself a generous drink. He closed his eyes once again as the last refrain from the song played.

"Play it again, Sam. Play it again."

The bartender stared at Hotch. Hotch stared right back. The bartender withered under the gaze that had cracked countless UNSUBs. He walked over to the jukebox and put in a handful of quarters. He pressed several buttons and walked over to Hotch.

"I need to see some ID buddy."

Hotch pulled out his wallet. "There now get me another bottle."

The bartender walked back to the bar.

And Hotch picked up his glass, and his focus narrowed. Only two things existed the glass and the song.

_Don't leave me in all this pain.  
Don't leave me out in the rain.  
Come back and bring back my smile.  
Come and take these tears away.  
I need your arms to hold me now.  
The nights are so unkind.  
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me._

Un-break my Heart.  
Say you love me again  
Undo this hurt you caused  
When you walked out the door  
And walked out of my life.  
Un-cry these tears.  
I cried so many nights  
Un-break my heart.

A lone tear streaked down Aaron Hotchner's face. A testament to the amount of pain the man felt, crying was a weakness that he never indulged in. That tear was the only one that would fall, even though a thousand others impatiently beat against the walls that he erected.

A/N: Ok so I got this idea from reading several stories where Hotch/Emily had to overcome heartbreak, and it seems like Hotch is always the one screwing up so I decided to write one where Emily screwed up. Also I am going a little AU because in this world Hotch hasn't cried since he was a small child.

I would love to know what you thought of this, but please don't be harsh (I have a fragile ego).


	2. Bizarro Hotch

Hotch entered the bullpen and for a brief moment it wasn't noteworthy. But Reid looked up from his desk and visibly paled. Little noises tumbled from his mouth as he lost the ability to articulate words. Morgan confused by what he heard looked up and couldn't believe what he saw. Their unflappable and always properly attired boss was attempting to walk past them without being noticed. He wore dark aviator sunglasses that hid his eyes. His hair was disheveled and he had a few days growth on his face. He hadn't taken his clothes off since that fateful day. Before Morgan could say anything Hotch tried to move past him, but he wasn't as steady on his feet as he would have liked.

"Hotch ... are you alright?" Morgan queried hesitantly.

Hotch didn't have an answer so he just looked at Morgan.

Morgan stared at his reflection in the dark glasses. _What do you say in a momet like this? What words would not come out trite and useless. And ... wait a minute is that alcohol I smell. Please don't let him have shown up drunk to work._

As Morgan tried to think of a delicate way to ask a question he never in his life thought he would have to ask. Dave, alerted by Reid walked, over. "Aaron why don't you come with me into my office." 

"Leave me alone Dave I got a lot of work to do."

"Aaron" Dave said as patiently as he could. "You don't want to cause a scene just come with me into the office." Dave said pleasantly with a forced smile on his face.

Hotch reluctantly let Dave led him away from the team which by now had all gathered around.

"Ok what just happened there?"

I don't know JJ, but if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I wouldn't believe it. Morgan took a long look at Dave's office. "Are we sure Hotch doesn't have a twin brother." He said attempting a little levity.

They all stared blank face at him. "Yeah that was a bad joke." Morgan resolved not to tell anyone what he smelled on Hotch's breath.

"Aaron ... what are you doing here?"

"What do you mean what am I doing here? I work here. ... I am the Unit Chief for the Behavioral Analysis Unit. I'm here to do my job."

"Aaron you could have taken some more time, we would have covered for you."

"I don't want you to cover for me. It seems like for the last year that's all the team has been doing."

"And we will continue to do it. This team loves you Aaron."

"Apparently not all of them."

The silence that filled the room was deafening.

"Have you talked to her?"

"No, she won't answer her phone. She hasn't been home."

"Tell me you haven't been driving to her place drunk waiting for her to come home."

"I haven't been driving. I have been putting a cabbie's daughter through college." Hotch joked bitterly.

"How's Jack?"

"He's happy. He's visiting his grandparents. I haven't told him anything yet. I don't know what I am going to say when he gets home. ... Dave I told him that morning when I took him to the airport. I told him we got together. He's going to be crushed."

_He isn't the only Hotchner boy to be crushed._ But Rossi kept that thought to himself. "Aaron, let me take you home you're in no condition to be here."

"Whatever. This is getting to be a habit, first that bartender called you, now this, do you have a daughter I need to put through college?" Aaron slurred collapsing into Dave's arms his legs no longer capable of sustaining his weight.

Dave winced, this was worse than he thought. Hotch knew he had no kids and he didn't utilize dark humor in painful situations. He would have some choice words for a certain raven haired Agent when he found her. Dave picked up his phone and called Morgan. "Get in here."

Morgan entered a moment later. "What's up, Dave. Oh. Is he out?"

"Like a light. Now we are going to get him to my car but we are going to take him out the back way and as inconspicuously as possible. The last thing Aaron needs is for Strauss to hear about this."

"Dave what are we going to do if we get a case? He's in no shape to deal with that. And there's no way we can keep it from Strauss."

"I don't know. But if it comes to it, I'll figure out something to take care of Strauss."

They managed to get him into Rossi's car without drawing any attention to themselves. They picked up Reid along the way. And Rossi drove them to Hotch's house. Rossi called Garcia's phone and she put it on speaker so JJ and Morgan could hear as well.

"All right so from now one one of us stays with him at all times. Garcia how many days vacation does he have?"

"A lot sir, he never takes vacations."

Rossi rubbed his face with his free hand. "Yeah. ... Well he's taking one now. And Garcia find her now!"


	3. Funeral March

A/N Thanks to everyone who has read this and to those of you who reviewed it. It means a lot. Please continue, it's easier to write when I know people care what happens in the story.

Emily had just put down her bag and was headed towards the kitchen when the phone rang. Emily ignored it and went to the fridge. She opened it and looked for something to eat. She wasn't really hungry, but she just wanted something to eat. Mostly she wanted to stop herself from thinking. She had done enough of that in New York. _Some days it would be nice to be able to shut off your brain for a while and just not think. _She heard the answering machine click on and Dave's voice come on, "Emily I know you are there so pick up the phone now." There was cold steel in his voice. He was not a happy camper. She hesitated. She wasn't ready for this.

"Emily I swear to God if you don't pick up that phone in the next five seconds I will end you. And I mean that literally."

Emily let out a long sigh and tilted her head back. _Time to face the music._ "Yes Dave."

"Meet me at the Starbucks on 21st in ten minutes." And with that he hung up.

_Why does he want me to meet him at a coffee shop, he obviously knows I am home why doesn't he meet me here. … Oh. So there are witnesses, if we meet here there's no one around. Well now we know whose team he's on. Although Team Prentiss probably doesn't have many fans. If any. What do you expect? Did you think everyone was going to line up with hugs and kisses when you got back? After what you did to Hotch, after everything he's gone through, there's no coming back from that. Hotch. Ohhh. Hotch. _A tear snaked it's way down her cheek. And for a brief moment she allowed herself to remember, to remember what he smelled like, to remember his wrapped around her, and then she remembered leaving him and that final look at his house. _No. I won't cry. I will NOT cry._ And with that she picked up her purse and walked steadfastly out the door. To the world she was a strong confident woman going somewhere. If only they could see what was behind the walls she had erected.

Dave stared at the door. He willed it to open and for her to walk through. If the door had been a person they would have long ago soiled themselves and run screaming into the hills. But they merely mocked him, by staying shut or opening to reveal every other woman, but the one he needed to see. The rational part of his brain had hoped she would beat him there. Had hoped that he would not be given time to allow the rage to grow. Although after three days the rage couldn't get much bigger _Hell he almost destroyed the career of a young man fresh from the Academy, whose only crime was not being able to see around corners. The kid bumped into him and he was seconds from ending the kid's dream before it even started. Good thing Garcia was there to inform him that Emily had gotten home. He didn't know how she knew, it was best not to ask, but he was immensely grateful she did. … Where the hell is she? _

_Are you ready for this? No. But if I could walk out that door, if I could put one foot in front of the other, if I could start that car, and if I could spend three days and not run back into his arms, not try and call him, I can do anything. Put your game face on Emily. The fun's about to begin. _

The doors opened and she appeared. _Finally._ She saw him and walked towards him.

As she walked towards him she started to her Chopin's "Funeral March". And as the music swelled "Dun Dun Dun, Dun Dun Dun" She couldn't help but feel like a prisoner on her last march to the gallows. "Dave" she said neutrally as she sat down. How are things?"

"Oh, things are jut fine. Of course we had a little hiccup a few days ago when our boss SAC Hotchner, you've met him right, well he showed up to work at the tail end of a three day bender. Apparently he met a girl. I know shocking right. But she wasn't just any girl no, she was the girl of his dreams, and wouldn't you know it, but she liked him too. Or at least that's what he thought. Because some time in the middle of the night she scurried away like a cockroach that's been exposed to light.

"It wasn't the middle of the night." her mouth protested before her brain could catch up.

He just stared at her. And she meekly shut up so he could continue. "Where was I? Oh yes, a cockroach. Then the girl fled to parts unknown and for three days he drank. All he did for three days was drink. Luckily for us his boss, who you didn't hear from me, but she is looking for any excuse to fire him. She didn't find out about his attempt to come into work. Because then the little cockroach would have taken everything away from him. Well almost everything, you see he has a little boy. The kid, Jack is his name, is his whole universe. Jack met the girl and he loved her, she was like a second mother to the boy. You see his first mother died. She was murdered by a psychopath while the boy was in another room. And so along came this second mother figure, and poor Aaron he didn't know that the girl had left him yet so he told the little boy the good news. The girl was going to be in his life even more. The little boy was so happy, he drew a picture. Would you like to see it?" Without waiting for her answer he handed her a piece of paper. On it was a drawing in five year old fashion of three people, two adults and a child all holding hands, and over each head was a caption. One adult's caption read "Daddy", the child's read "Jack" and the other adult's read "Mommy Emily".

Emily had to wipe away the tears that were flowing down her face to see the picture. She didn't know when she started crying, probably when Dave had mentioned Jack, although she had had tears in her eyes when she heard how Aaron had spent the last few days.

She looked at Dave and opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. After several moments of trying she managed to croak out, "Why are you telling me this Dave?"

"Because obviously you had never met the man or knew anything about him, if it was easy to walk out that door."

"EASY. Easy. There was nothing easy about walking out that door. EVERYTHING. And I mean everything I have had to do at the BAU combined was easier than walking out that door."

"Then why did you do it?"

His words struck her to the core. She had been wrestling with that question for three days. And even now it seemed so pathetic. Especially no after she heard what Aaron had gone through. "I was terrified. He loved me so much. Too much. I never knew that much love could exist. What if my love wasn't enough? What if we split up? I wouldn't have been able to cope. … So I ran. I had to get my head on straight. I know it's an excuse. Hell, I know it's a pathetic excuse. But I didn't know what to do. I had to be alone, the only voice I could listen to was my own."

"And now? What answers has your running away provided you? Was it worth all the destruction you have left in your wake?"

"I don't know Dave. I don't know." They sat in silence for what was only a few minutes but seemed like an eternity. "I love him Dave. I love him with all of my heart. I figured that out pretty quickly. I want him back. And with every fiber of my being I wish I could take that day back, and spare him everything."

"There are no do-overs."

"I know."

…

…

…

"What do I do know Dave?"

"I don't know."

A/N/ So I don't know Emiy's feelings towards NY but it is my favorite city in the world, and so that's why I chose it. It might be AU, but I am ok with that. I think I might go back and deal with Emily in New York, but I struggled with where to go after chapter two and after this I am still not sure where to go, I know how it ends. I just don't know how to get there. So I don't know if I will go back or not. Anyways please let me know what you think. I liked Dave telling her the story as opposed to getting mad, although he was defintely mad, but what did you think?


	4. Confrontation

A/N There is some Adult Language in this story nothing you wouldn't see in a PG-13 movie I think. But id it offends you don't read.

Today was going to huge. The team had all arrived early, they knew they would have some fires to put out today. If they weren't careful two careers could end. And that, no matter how angry they were at one individual, was something none of them wanted. He arrived first. He had shaved, a very good sign, he was wearing a different suit. But he looked haggard. He still wore his sunglasses. And as he strode past them he didn't acknowledge them. He didn't do it maliciously, he was just in his own world and almost nothing existed in his world. It didn't take a profiler to see that he had been rocked to the core and he was barely holding on. He went to his office shut the door and closed the blinds. He was cut off from the world, or he was trying to be. The team looked at each other. No one knew what to do. They stood there wordlessly talking hoping someone could help.

She entered in the middle of the conversation, and they all looked up at her. She unconsciously shivered the temperature in the room had dropped ten degrees. _Yep they are all Team Hotchner. _She slowly looked at the team. JJ and Garcia couldn't look at her, they couldn't believe what she had done. How many nights had they been forced to listen to her bemoan the fact that she couldn't get him to notice her. And then she goes and pulls a stunt like this. They couldn't believe she would so casually break Hotch's heart. Not after everything he had gone through. She was their friend, but today and tomorrow and for some time into the future they couldn't stand her existence. She had been cruel, and they detested cruelty.

She swallowed as she moved her eyes away from her girlfriends, she had hoped they might be a little sympathetic, but she could see they were firmly entrenched on his side. She looked at Morgan and she could see the disgust written on his face. She skipped over Dave after their "chat" she knew where he stood and he knew where she stood. He secretly hoped she could fix this, but he didn't know if that was possible. Finally she looked at Reid, he looked slightly sympathetic to her. He gave her a ghost of a smile, and the temperature increased ever so slightly. But then he slammed the door shut and gave her a hard look like everyone else.

It was time she knew what was next She had been dreading it, but the longer she waited the worse it was going to get. "Is he in his office?" No one answered. The silence hung heavy in the air. Then Reid finally replied, "Yeah." She nodded and turned towards his office.

"You see that is why I keep things casual with my honeys, no feelings. I don't have to worry about heartless bitches."

She stopped she wanted to yell at Morgan, to defend herself. But she didn't. She had promised herself she would take whatever the team did silently and without recrimination. She owe them that much.

She started the trek to his office. She could feel the eyes of the team following her. Their presence a weight on her shoulders. It was only 20 steps or so. But with each step she seemed to be getting further and further away. It was almost like she was going backwards. And then the shortest and paradoxically longest journey of her life ended when she reached his door. She raised her arm to knock She braced herself for what was to come. She knocked. No sound came from within. She knocked again. Still no answer. She knew she had to deal with this and it had to be now. She opened the door.

He had heard the knock, but he wasn't in the mood to deal with the team. If he ignored them hopefully they would get the message and go away. He hoped he could get through the day, and if he had to deal with his team … well he couldn't deal with his team. He knew regardless of how today went tonight was going to suck. Jack came home tonight. And he was not looking forward to looking into his big eyes and telling him that Emily was gone and she might not come back. _Oh yeah tonight is going to be fun._ The door opened and light spilled into the room, and then she was there. All the breath that was in his body vanished and he was left with his mouth gaping. The shock written all over his face. The mask that he had spent years so carefully building was gone. And it wasn't coming back. The only way he could do this was to treat her like an UnSub, that mask still exists. He was SSAIC Agent Hotchner; it was all he could be.

She entered the dark room the only illumination was from the door and a small desk lamp. She could see the shock all over his face. A blind guy could see the shock on his face. She closed the door. "Hi Aaron." She saw the mask slam back, his voice was cold and unfeeling.

"We are in my office Agent Prentiss, kindly refrain from using personal greetings here. I am Agent Hotchner or sir."

"Yes sir." … "Can I call you Hotch?" She said hopefully with a small smile.

"I am your boss Agent Prentiss, we must follow decorum."

Decorum, she hated that word. Being the daughter of an Ambassador she heard that word plenty. But old lessons die hard. He knew where to hit to cause the most damage.

"Yes sir, _Agent Hotchner."_

Now he knew why the FBI had the anti-fraternization rule. He couldn't decide if he wanted to kill her or rip off her clothes and mount her on his desk. He knew he couldn't do either.

"What did you want to see me about Agent Prentiss?"

_What did she want to see him about? Was he fucking kidding? He knew damn well what she wanted to see him about. Why was he doing this?_

"Well, Agent Prentiss? What CAN, I, DO, for you?" He damn well was going to make this easy for her not after the shit she had pulled.

_All right she would play his game, she had messed up it was only fair. _"I wanted to know how things were between us."

No bullshit no artifice, it was one of the things he loved about her. "How WE, are doing Agent Prentiss. Well I am your boss, so professionally as far as I am concerned we are doing fine." He stared at her for a moment, and he knew that his mask was slipping. He looked away.

She saw as he looked away that he was struggling to keep his poker face. He was silent for a long time. When he spoke his voice was cracked with emotion. Her heart broke at the pain he had suffered and was suffering. _How could she do this to him?_

"Us personally, … I don't even want to look at you. …"

Her eyes closed and a tear escaped and continued it solitary journey of freedom down her face and onto her shirt.

"Jack comes home tonight. And I have to tell him, that "Mommy Emily" isn't. That she doesn't want to be his mommy. That she ended things before they began. And he will probably never see her again. … You want to know the worst thing about it? He's going to ask if you went to Heaven just like Haley. How am I going to explain to a five year old the complexities of something like this?"

Hearing the scorn at Aaron's use of "Mommy Emily" broke open the floodgates tears ran down her face. "Aaron I."

He interrupted her, "I don't care what you have to say. This is going to break his heart, how could you do this to him? … I don't even care anymore, just get out."

She stood slowly the tears still falling down her face. She walked to the door. "I love him you know. I want to see him. I want to be a part of his life. If I thought you would let me, I would see him. I love him your son with all my heart. I love him, … and his daddy." And with that she opened the door and walked out.

Hotch stared at the door for a long time, and then grabbed the empty coffee cup on his desk He reached into the bottom drawer of his desk and pulled out his emergency bottle of Jack Daniel's. He knew the team didn't want him drinking. _But fuck it. Today definitely counted as an emergency._

The team had been staring at the door since she had entered and they all took note of her appearance as she exited. Although none of them would have admitted it, to each other or themselves, they had all secretly hoped that it would have gone well. But one look at Emily's tear stained face told the story. She walked past them all without a word and went to the Ladies restroom. She sat in one of the stalls and balled like a little girl. No one entered, everyone somehow knew to stay away.

A couple of hours later Hotch heard a knock at his door, he looked up to see JJ enter. She had a very apologetic look on her face. Hotch couldn't take anymore of his teams sympathies. He was about to say something when JJ spoke.

"I am so sorry, but we have a case."

He stared at her for a moment. "All right tell everyone conference room in ten." As she turned away he called out. "Has anyone talked to her, she need to be there too?"

"I'll send someone to get her."

Hotch couldn't even nod. _A case, the guy upstairs must really hate him. What did I do to piss him off so bad? Maybe I did something in a past life. Good thing I thought I was going to pick up Jack or I might have had more than one drink. Jack. I have to call Jessica._

"Jessica, I know this is last minute, but we have a case. Can you go pick up Jack? You can good. No I don't know how long I'll be gone. Ok thanks bye." He was glad Jessica didn't know about Emily. As much as that conversation was going to suck, he needed to be the one to tell him.

Ten minutes later he walked into the conference room. He indulged in a momentary burst of pleasure when he saw the team all sitting on one side and Emily alone on the other. He also noticed a chair had been pulled out in the center of the team far away from Emily. Without a word he walked over and sat down in the chair the team had given him. He sent them all a brief smile of thanks.

JJ stood up and a picture popped up behind her. It was of an adult male in his late twenties, he had slashes all over his body and it was obvious he had been tortured. "This is Jeffrey Richards He is twenty-nine he was abducted two weeks ago in Seattle, Washington. The police found his body in a dumpster four days later. This." Indicating the picture of another male who had suffered the same treatment, "Is Brandon Price he was abducted six days ago, and his body was found in a dumpster two days. And this is Ronnie Jones he was abducted yesterday."

"They first two victims were tortured was that the cause of death?" Spencer said looking up from the case file.

"Yes the ME estimates that they had both been dead less than 24 hours before they were found."

"So the UnSub tortures them for three days and then a day later picks someone else. That's a short cool off period." Morgan put down his folder.

"Well if he sticks to the pattern we have two days to catch this guy before he kills again. Wheels up in thirty." Hotch got up and moved over to Emily. Speaking softly, "Can you do this?"

"Yes sir"

"Regardless of the personal issues between us and the issues between you and the team; we can't have any issues professionally. Am I clear?"

"Yes sir."

They silently walked out of the conference room.

_God this was going to suck._

A/N Ok so for those of you who wanted Emily to say she was sorry, and them to get back together sorry, but I don't think that's realistic So they have some more stuff to go through. The teams reactions to her seem plausible to me. This wasn't an accident, she intentionally did this. Whatever her reasons are she made a choice and I think the team would back Hotch. Reid giving her that moment is because I think of all of them Reid might be slightly sympathetic to her freaking out over something emotional. He lives in a world of logic, overwhelming emotion would be tough for him. But she still hurt Hotch so he's firmly Team Hotch. That's what I think let me know what you think.


	5. The first time is never good

A/N I apologize for how long it took me to update. But for what it's worth here it is.

"Let's go over what we know." Dave said leaning in. He could tell Hotch was lost in his own world. He could lead until Hotch had his head back on straight. He only hoped it was soon. It wouldn't be long before the vultures started circling. And for all the power that he had amassed over the years, he wasn't sure it would be enough. Not after everything that had already happened. _Hotch was going to need to get better. And he was going to need to do it quickly._ He looked over at his raven haired co-worker. _Could she help? Or would she only cause more trouble. She knows she made a mistake, we've all made them. Hell I've got three ex-wives I know a lot about mistakes. She would do anything to take it back or to fix it. The question was how? You don't just forgive and forget something like that; it was going to take time. Time. It's the greatest enemy of all men. _The team had been going over the information while Rossi had been thinking. They didn't seem to notice the two senior agents not contributing to the conversation.

Around seven exhaustion and hunger overtook them. "All right let's get some food and we'll start fresh in the morning. Hotch you and JJ will go in the morning and interview the family of the first victim. Morgan you and Prentisss interview the second. Reid and I'll take the third. All right?"

They all nodded and went back to the hotel. Emily and Hotch didn't eat with the team they both went back to their respective rooms. They had rode over in different cars, and as Emily approached the bank of elevators, she saw Hotch already standing there. He turned and saw her, his face uncertain, he looked to his left where the stairs were, then he looked back at her. He turned and took a step towards the stairs.

"You can not be serious." She couldn't hold the anger in, she knew she didn't have the right to be angry, but she couldn't help it. "You can't share an elevator with me. Can't we at least be grown-ups about this?"

Hotch sighed and said nothing, but entered the elevator when it opened. Emily entered after him. They rode up the elevator in an awkward silence. The elevator moving much too slowly for both of them. They couldn't look at each other. Emily stared at the floor. Hotch stared at the numbers that almost never seemed to change. When they finally reached their floor Hotch started to leave but stopped in the doorway. "Was that really better than letting me just walk up the stairs?"

Emily didn't answer. She just continued staring at the floor.

"This isn't easy for me. I know it's not easy for you either. If we are ever going to get back to … … anything. We've got to play this my way. It's my world for the moment, and some days you can have a day pass."

Silence filled the space. Neither one wanting to move or say anything. Finally Hotch started to walk away. He stopped when he heard Emily's voice. She spoke softly afraid of the answer. "Do you think we can get back to what we had?"

"I don't know."

"I meant-."

"I know what you meant." He walked away. Emily waited a moment and then exited the elevator. Tears were stinging her eyes, but she wasn't going to cry not in the hallway at least. The second the door closed she couldn't them back any longer. She cried. She cried until there was nothing left.

The next morning came too early for the two of them. Emily's eyes were red, Hotch's had dark circles under them. They were both exhausted. Their respective partners said nothing just silently took lead.

After a couple of days they got a break, they found the connection between the victims. They had all dated the same woman. And they had all beaten her. She came from a home and had been abused by both her parents it was all she had ever known. But then she met a guy and he had treated her right, until he left her at the alter. After that she snapped and went after everyone that had hurt her.

They all went back to the motel and as they had during the entire case Aaron and Emily separated themselves from each other and the team. Dave decided it was time to step in, he wasn't playing matchmaker. He was taking an interest in the lives of two people who he cared about deeply. He started at the beginning.

"You look exhausted."

"Thanks you look great too."

"Ever the sarcastic wit. You should get out have some fun."

"Get out? And do what?"

"There's a carnival down the road. You should check it out. Who knows you might find something you lost."

Next Dave went to Hotch._ That was easy this… this is not going to be so easy._

"You can't keep doing this you know. You weren't here mentally on this case."

"I know."

"You have to be the leader again. The team covered for you this time. And they will continue to cover for you. But you know the Brass will catch on."

"Can you stop them?"

"Maybe, but I doubt it. It's time to get your head back in the game."

"Yeah."

"You can't let this eat you up. Take the night go enjoy that carnival. Have a little fun Aaron. God knows you need it."

_Have a little fun. Like it's just that easy. I don't want to have fun. I want … What do I want? Wait. Emily. She's here. I'd know that scent anywhere. Where? There. _

Hotch rushed forward and grabbed the arm of the Black haired woman he saw. He spun her around, but she was a stranger not his Emily. "I'm sorry Ma'am I thought you were someone I knew." _Great Aaron just run and accost the first black haired woman you see. Real good. And what if it had been her? What then? What would she have thought of you grabbing her and spinning her around like that? You need to get a grip Aaron._

"Hotch? Is that you?"

"Prentiss what are you doing here?"

"Dave told me to come. He said I needed some fun. And he said I might find something here. Something I thought I might have lost. Whatever that means."

"Dave sent you huh?" Hotch looked up into the sky and smiled ruefully. _Dammit Dave why can't you stay out of it. _

"What's with that smile? Am I missing something?"

"It's nothing don't worry about it? … How are you enjoying the carnival?"

"It's fun. I have never really been to a carnival before."

"You've never been to a carnival?"

"No, we overseas most of my childhood years. And then other things took over my life. I didn't get to do a lot of things."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. … How about you are you enjoying the carnival?"

"I don't know. Not really. … But there is one thing I always do whenever I go to a place like this."

"What's that?"

"I get an elephant ear."

"What's an elephant ear?"

"You don't know what an elephant ear is?"

She smiled at his excitement. It was good to see him smile. "No. What is an elephant ear?"

"It is the greatest fried food ever. It this round fried dough thing that they cover in cinnamon and sugar. It is amazing. C'mon you have to try one."

He dragged her towards the food stands. She was smiling the whole way. She had no idea what was going on, but she wasn't going to question it. This could be what she was looking for. They got to the stand and he ordered one elephant ear. Emily looked at the thing apprehensively. That was a lot of fried dough. But she had come this far what was one weird fried thing if it could change things. She took a bite. Her eyes lit up. "Oh my God that is amazing."

"I know right. I only get one of these every couple of years, but man is it worth it."

They didn't talk they just silently enjoyed their fried treat and each others company.

"This was good. I am glad I came. And I'm glad you're moving past what happened."

As soon as she said it she realized it was the wrong thing to say. The smile was gone and was instantly replaced by a look of pain and anger. "You think just because I bought you some fried food, that I could forget everything that happened? You think that's all it takes?"

"No I didn't mean it like that."

He didn't listen to another word she said, he just stormed off.

"Aaron wait. That's not what I meant. Aaron" She turned away and spoke so softly no one could hear. "I'm sorry." She walked back into the bright flashing lights of the carnival. _Good job Emily. You were getting along. He was smiling. He was talking with you. It was like it used to be. And then you had to open your big mouth. Stupid._ She would eventually walk back to the hotel. And all night long her guilty conscience would plague her. Sleep was nowhere to be found.

A/N So hopefully you made it to her. Again I apologize for this chapter. But I couldn't do anything with it. Some days you just can't find the plate and that's what happened here. But please don't lose faith in me I shall soon return and the story will be better than ever. I promise. Please review and let me know what you thought. Did anything work?


	6. The hardest thing for a parent

A/N The next chapter as promised. I own nothing don't sue.

_This is going to suck. This is going to suck even more than the first time. The time I had to tell him that Haley had died. That he would never see his mom again. It's going to be the worst version of déjà vu all over again. He's going to lose his second mother._ He slammed his hand into the steering console. _It isn't fair. He's such a sweet little boy. He doesn't deserve this._ He looked up into the heavens. _You bastard, I don't care what you have against me, I can take whatever you throw. But you stay the fuck away from my son, you don't get to hurt him anymore. He's had enough pain for one lifetime. More than enough. So you stay away._

As he made the final turn onto Jessica's street he started breathing in and out, trying to calm himself. He didn't want to worry Jack, at least not before he lowered the boom on him. _God, this is going to suck._

All through the car ride home Jack had been chattering away. He had talked about his trip, he had talked about his grandparents, his time with Aunt Jessica, and anything else that popped into his head. Hotch had let him talk, he was going to let him enjoy the few moments he had left before they got to the house. _Because once we get inside that house … well he isn't going to be enjoying anything._

They got to the house and as Hotch unlocked the door and led them inside, he heard the words the words he had been dreading for a week.

"Daddy is Mommy Emily here? When do I get to see her?"

"Buddy I need to talk to you. Here sit down."

"Ok Daddy what do you want to talk about?'

"It's about … Mommy Emily."

"What about her? Is she going to be staying with us? Cause I want her here all the time."

"That's the thing buddy, Mommy Emily isn't going to be staying here."

"Why not? All of the other mommies stay all the time."

"I know buddy. But Mommy Emily isn't. She …" _God, how do you explain this to a six year old?_ She isn't going to be around anymore."

"Is she gone?" Jack was staring at the floor. His voice was soft and Hotch could barely hear it.

"Yeah buddy she is."

"Is she in Heaven like Mommy?"

"No buddy nothing like that. She just … She just isn't going to be around anymore."

"Why not does she not love me any more?"

Hotch's heart was broken. He thought he knew how bad this was going to be. But this was so much worse. _Damn you Emily Prentiss, why can't you be here? Why can't you be here to break my son's heart? Why does it have to be me?_ "No, she loves you. She loves you with all of her heart."

"This why doesn't she want to stay with me?" He started to cry. His little body shook violently with his tears and cries.

Hotch didn't have an answer he picked his son up and held him in his arms. "I don't know. I just don't know.

Hotch held his heartbroken son rubbing his back and speaking soothing words until finally he succumbed to sleep. Hotch didn't know what to do. His son needed Emily in his life. Emily had been the difference after Foyet. Jessica had been indispensable, but it was Emily that had brought Jack back from the darkness. She had been the light in his life.

She had been the light in both of their lives.

And so as he stared into the distance Hotch made a decision. He made a decision only a parent would or could make. Only a parent could truly understand. He reached into his pocket pulled out his cell phone and made a call.

"I need you to come over here right now." He hung up the phone. He didn't bother waiting for a response. There could only be one response.

Twenty minutes later he heard a knock on the door. He slowly stood up. He didn't want to wake his son. Not yet. He walked to the door and opened it and without acknowledging the person on the other side instead he turned and walked back to the couch.

Emily stood for a moment before the open door. Twenty minutes ago Hotch had called her out of the blue and told her to come over right now. And then he had hung up. And now he opened the door and just walked away without saying anything. She silently screwed up her courage and walked over the threshold.

"Hotch …" She wasn't sure if this was professional or personal. "What's up?"

"I told Jack. … He cried himself to sleep. He thought you didn't love him."

"But I do love him." Her conscience started tormenting her at the thought of the pain she had put her sweet boy through. That he had doubted for one second that she loved him with all of her heart.

"I know. In this whole situation that is the only thing that I have known. … … Look regardless of what's going on with us. Jack needs you in his life. He's already lost one mother. He doesn't need to lose another. So I am going to propose something to you. Something a little unconventional. … I am willing to let you have visitation."

Emily stared at him in confusion. "Visitation?"

"Yes. I will allow you to spend time with Jack. You can take him to the park or a movie or whatever. We'll set up times and you can have him for an afternoon or a day maybe. This way you won't be out of his life."

"And what about you? Where will you be?"

"I won't be there. You'll have him to yourself."

"I see. Have you told him?"

"I wanted to talk to you first."

Emily stared at him. _Does this change anything between us? Does he still love me? Is this the road to getting him back?_ "Thank you Aaron."

"This doesn't change anything Prentiss. I'm doing this for my son. He doesn't deserve this. He's had enough happen to him in this life."

"I never meant to hurt him. I never meant to hurt either of you."

"No one ever intends to hurt anyone." His words were filled with bitterness. He couldn't meet her eyes. "I am going to let you talk to him. When you're done tell him he needs to take a bath and get ready for bed. That's where I'll be."

He walked away, but before he left the room Emily called out, "Hotch … thank you again."

He didn't turn and he didn't say anything he just walked away.

Emily gently stroked her sweet boy's head. His red rimmed eyes slowly opened. His face was filled with sadness. "Emily daddy says you don't want to be here all the time. Why? I want you here all the time? Please? I promise I'll be good."

"Oh baby I can't be here all the time. But I promise I love you. I love you with all of my heart. And I promise baby I'll be around as much as I can."

"But why can't you be all the time? I want you to be my mommy. Don't you want to be my mommy?"

The tears that had been threatening started to run down her cheeks. _How could she hurt this sweet boy? Why did I have to run?_ She silently cursed herself for being a coward. For running from what she wanted and what she might never get again. But she didn't have answer, well she had an answer but not one a six year old could understand. So she didn't answer she simply pulled him into her chest and clutched him tightly. "Baby always remember this I love you. I love you with all of my heart." She pulled him back and looked into his wide eyes. "You understand. I will always love you."

He nodded and she pulled him back into her chest. She was going to fix this. She didn't know how. But she was going to fix this.

For all of their sakes.

A/N All right so I hope that wasn't too maudlin. Writing a six year old is hard. I hope I did ok. Please review and let me know what you think (I'll even resort to bribery). The thirtieth person to review will get a one shot of whatever they want. Anything your heart can think of, I will give you (provided it is a story and a Criminal Minds story at that).


	7. Warm and cold A world slowly thawing out

A/N So here it is the next chapter. As always I own nothing, and I thank the people that do for letting me borrow the characters. Also thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed my stories. Thank you.

"Cmon baby it's time to go home." Emily said as she packed the last of Jack's toys away.

Jack looked up from the swings. "Are you coming home too?" His face was filled with happy anticipation for the answer he wanted to hear.

Emily smiled a sad smile and tried to keep it out of her voice. "No baby, I'm sorry. I can't come with you to your home."

"But I want you to come."

"I know baby. But you can't always get what you want."

"Why not?"

Emily smiled at the logic that only a child could come up with. "I don't know baby. I don't know. I guess it's just the way it is. C'mon your daddy is probably starting to get worried about you."

Emily grabbed his hand and together they started the ten minute walk back to Hotch's house. Emily hated this part. The part where she had to let go. She got to see him Mondays and Thursdays. And it was great she loved it, until the clock struck midnight and the carriage turned into a pumpkin. She had thought it would get easier having to take him home and tear herself from his presence. But time she found it harder and harder. She didn't want to give him up, not for one minute let alone five days. But as much as it broke her heart to let him go she wouldn't say anything to Aaron. He was already sacrificing so much to let her have the time she had with Jack. She couldn't be greedy and ask for more.

But every fiber of her being wanted more. Not just more Jack. But Aaron too. She wanted Aaron again. She wanted to experience that night again and again. She wanted it to be that night every night. To feel his arms around her. To feel safe once again. To feel loved. To feel happy. That's what she dreamed about at night. When she crawled under the covers in her cold and lonely bed. She dreamed of him. Of his bed. Of their bed. She dreamed he climbed in after her, and he put his arms around her. He would pull her in close. And his breath would be hot on her neck. And he would say, "I love you." And that would be heaven. Every night for a brief moment this is what she would feel.

But always reality would sink in and the warmth would be replaced by a chill. And the bed would grow cold, and there was only her in the room. And the silence mocked her.

A tugging on her arm woke her from her reverie. "What's wrong baby?"

"You weren't listening to me."

"I know baby. I 'm sorry I was just thinking."

"What were you thinking about?"

_How much I love you and want to be able to come home with you._ "How much I enjoyed the park today. Did you have fun?"

"I always have fun with you. Can you stay tonight so we can have more fun?"

Thankfully they arrived at the house so Emily didn't have to answer. She just opened the door and let him in.

Hotch came out from the kitchen when he heard the door open. "Hey buddy. Did you have fun today?"

"I did. But I want Emily to stay tonight so I can have more fun. Can she daddy please?" He said as he leaned his head forward and brought out his puppy dog eyes. "Please daddy."

Those eyes made Hotch want to give him whatever he wanted. "I don't know buddy. I think Emily has to go home. She might have stuff to do tonight."

"Do you Emily? Cuz I want you to stay. Please Emily." He brought the eyes to bear on her. And she crumbled like a house of cards

"I don't have anything to do tonight." She looked at Hotch. Her eyes saying it's your call.

"Ok buddy I guess Emily can stay."

"Yeah." Jack exclaimed as he danced around.

"But you need to get ready for dinner."

"Ok daddy."

Jack raced to the bathroom. The adults stood there in an awkward silence.

"Hotch I don't have to stay. If you want me to go. I can go."

"No it's fine. He wants you to stay."

So she stayed and for a brief while it was like nothing had ever happened. They ate dinner afterwards, they played with Jack, and then watched a movie. It was a picture of the life they should have had.

About halfway through the movie Jack who was between Hotch and Emily slumped over into Emily's arms asleep. Emily didn't want to say anything. As long as Aaron didn't notice anything, she could stay. She could pretend. It was warm here.

But the gods weren't on her side. Hotch looked over and noticed his on asleep on Emily's arm. "I should put him to bed it's getting late."

"Yeah. I uh yeah … yeah you should do that."

Hotch gently reached down and picked up his son. As he did his hands brushed across her arms. Her arm tingled from where he touched. And a warmth spread through her body. She had to bite back a groan. After Aaron left she stood up. She looked around the room. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to stay, but she couldn't ask to stay. She hoped he would invite her to stay. It was getting late out. Maybe he would tell her it was too late to be driving home.

He came back in the room. They both stood there looking around the room neither able to meet the other's gaze. Emily was the first to speak. "It's getting late."

"Yeah. Yeah it is."

"I uh … I had fun."

"Yeah it was fun."

…

…

"Good night Emily." Hotch's voice had gotten its strength back.

"Good night Hotch." She turned and walked to the door.

"And … Drive safe."

Emily smiled a happy smile, but it was tinged with sadness. She couldn't turn and look at him. "Thanks. I will.

She walked out the door. And all too soon she was crawling into her cold and lonely bed. And as her melancholic fantasy played out she heard a familiar musical refrain.

And I meant every word I said

When I said I love you

I meant I love forever

And I'm gonna keep on loving you

Cause it's the only thing I wanna do

I don't want to sleep, I just wanna keep on loving you

And as her eyes drifted shut and sleep overtook her. That refrain repeated until all conscious thought was gone.

A/N Just so you all know the offer still stands the thirtieth reviewer if they want will get a story from me about anything they want.


	8. Fairytales

A/N The end is near. Thank you for sticking around. Thank you for all of the reviews alerts and to some of you for making this one of your favorite stories. As always I own nothing. But I wouldn't mind borrowing Paget Brewster.

The shrill ringing of his phone snapped him out of his contemplation of the identity of their latest UnSub.

"Hotchner."

"Hotch. Emily's been shot. It's bad Hotch."

And for the second time in last two months, Aaron's world started to implode.

30 minutes before

It was supposed to be a routine interview. And for a brief few moments it was. And then Emily had asked a question and the world turned sideways. The man jerked out of his seat and all of a sudden there was a gun in his hand. And the next thing she knew was a hot pain shooting through her chest below her right shoulder. Then the world started to get foggy and she was in and out. She could Morgan screaming to her about something. His face filled with worry, but he was trying to hide it. _Silly Morgan, you can't hide anything from profilers. _Then there were EMTs and there were asking what she assumed were questions. She thought she answered them. But she wasn't sure. The burning pain was gone. In a brief lucid moment she knew that was shock had set in. So she laid back and enjoyed the ride. She knew she should be worried, but she didn't know why.

_Jack._

_Aaron._

_I have to live. I have to see my sweet boy again. I can't let him lose me too. I can't let him lose another mommy. I can't join Haley in Heaven. _

_That might be a little awkward._

_Aaron. I can't let our story end like this. Not with him still not liking me. Not with so much between us unsaid. Not with so much happiness that could still be ours._

_Maybe this will help him forgive me. Maybe this will bring us together. That's how it works in the storybooks. One of the pair has a horrible tragedy, and that's the catalyst for the other. Maybe this is our moment._ She sat back and watched as her mind played out the scene.

Aaron would come rushing into the hospital. His eyes would be wild and unfocused. They would take in everything and nothing. They would search for someone. For something. For her. They would settle on the nurse in charge. And that focus would bring back the infamous Agent Hotchner mask and in that deceptively calm voice he would pull out his badge and inform the nurse, "My name is SSA Agent Hotchner I am with the FBI. You have one of my team here. Her name is Emily Prentiss. Where is she?"

The nurse would tell him she was in surgery and direct him to the waiting room. He would find the team there. He would pace. He would attempt to sit. He would pace some more. He would drink really bad coffee. He would continue pacing. And then a cute doctor.

_Why shouldn't he be cute?_

A really cute doctor would come out and he would inform Aaron that she made it through surgery and she was awake and he could see her.

And then he would stand in front of her door. And he would come in. He would ignore the bruises and lack of makeup. He would ignore the fact that her hair was a mess. He would tell her, "My God you're beautiful. And I don't care what you did. I love you. And I want you in my life forever."

And then he would cross the distance and they would kiss and it would be just like the story books. It would be the greatest kiss of all time.

_Well maybe the one from "The Princess Bride" might be slightly better. But probably not._

And they would live happily ever after.

And with that thought darkness engulfed her. And she could no longer form thoughts.

Aaron raced through the sliding doors. His eyes were taking in everything and taking in nothing. He couldn't focus. His world was spinning off it axis, and was threatening to come crashing down. This couldn't happen again. Not to him. Not to Jack.

His eyes caught focus on a nurse behind the desk. Everything snapped back into place. The mask that he put on to get through the day snapped into place. He calmly walked in front of her and pulling out his badge said, "My name is SSA Agent Hotchner I am with the FBI. You have one of my team here. Her name is Emily Prentiss. Where is she?"

The nurse told him she was in surgery. The rest of team was in the waiting room and she would send a doctor out with news and soon as she could.

He walked into the waiting room. The team all came over and hugged him or put their arm around him. They all gave him their support. Everything that had happened was forgiven. Even if only for this moment. They waited. Their minds conjuring up all of the horrible outcomes that might come to pass. They mentally berated themselves for all of the mean things they had done to her in the last two months.

He paced. He thought of how mean he had been to her when she first started.

He tried sitting. He thought of her friendship and support during the Foyet ordeal.

He paced again. He thought of that glorious night.

He tried sitting again. He thought of the next morning.

He had to get out of the room. He went and got a cup of terrible coffee. He thought about the next time he saw her.

He paced. He thought about the carnival and the elephant ear.

He talked to Dave. He thought about the visitation he had granted her. How happy Jack had been.

He paced. He thought of that night a month ago. She had stayed, had dinner, and watched a movie. He had wanted her to stay. But he couldn't say it. So he didn't he let her go. Almost as a consolation prize he told her to be safe. He didn't want her dead. Not when there was a chance he could still have her. Not when there was still a chance at happiness.

Not as long as he loved her.

He paced.

The world around him burned.

He paced.

A/N I know this is a terrible place to leave you but have no fear the next chapter will be up tomorrow or the next day. Reviews keep the muse coming back every day.


	9. A world of possibilities

A/N And were back. I own nothing, but if you want you can give me Paget Brewster I promise I won't mind.

After a lifetime cooped up in the waiting room a rather good looking doctor came into the room. "Family of Emily Prentiss."

Hotch got up and walked over to him. "How is she Doctor?"

"She'll live. The bullet nicked an artery. But we were able to get the bleeding under control. And luckily for us she has a very common blood type so we were able to stabilize her. She's going to be out for a while, but she should make a full recovery. She won't be allowed in the field for a while."

Hotch had let out the breath he had been holding for the last ten hours. And the team sagged behind him in relief. "We understand Doctor thank you. Can I see her?"

"Not now I will send someone for you in a little while."

"Thank you Doctor." He turned and faced the team. "All right everyone needs to go home and get some sleep we have all had a long night."

"What about Emily someone should be here when she wakes up?"

"I'll be here JJ."

"What about the case?"

"You guys caught the UnSub. We will deal with the paperwork tomorrow. Get some sleep you all need it."

The team slowly filed out. They all made sure to touch Hotch before thy left, each silently offering support. Today had been a good day. Or at least it had ended well.

Hotch slumped into the chair. The worry and fear had left him, and they had taken all of his strength. He was exhausted. He closed his eyes for a moment. The next thing he knew he was been gently woken by someone.

"The doctor said you can go back and visit Agent Prentiss if you would like."

"Thank you." He stood and attempted to smooth out the wrinkles in his suit. He failed miserably. He was a mess. He hadn't shaved. His suit was looked like it had been stuffed in a bag for days. He was in desperate need of a shower. But he knew he wouldn't leave this hospital until she left.

He stood in front of the door to her room. A world of possibilities lay beyond that door. Some good. Some bad. Some amazing. Too amazing to even dream about. Some horrific Too horrible to even contemplate. They all lay in front of him.

He opened the door. She was still asleep. Her hair was a mess. She had bruises on her face, her makeup was long gone. _God she looked beautiful. _Her eyes slowly opened.

"Hi. Her voice was sleepy but filled with warmth. He had come. Everything she had dreamed about could come true in this moment. All he needed to do was say the words. The words she had been dreaming about for so long.

"How are you feeling Prentiss?"

For a brief moment her face fell. This wasn't going to be the story book moment. Agent Hotchner, her boss, had walked into the room: not Aaron, her would be boyfriend. "I'm fine sir. I'll be back on my feet and chasing bad guys in no time."

"Only after the doctors clear you." He raised his hands to quell any attempts to talk back. "That's an order Prentiss. You were shot. The bullet nicked an artery. …" The mask was slipping; Aaron was taking over. "I … We almost lost you. … The team almost lost you. … We can't afford to lose you. Not after everything we have had to go through. The team needs you." He steadied himself. His voice got back some of its strength. "So you will do everything the doctors say and when they say you can come back and 'chase bad guys' then you can come back. And not a moment before."

She heard what he couldn't say. He had almost lost her. Jack had almost lost her. After everything they had been through. They couldn't lose her too. She wanted to say something to tell him she was right here. She wasn't going anywhere. That she was his. For keeps. For always.

But in a moment also from the story books a nurse walked in. And the moment was over and Aaron quickly retreated from her and her room. She sighed loudly and plopped back on the bed.

"Everything ok dear?"

"I think the universe hates me."

The nurse smiled indulgently. "Everyone thinks that at some time or another. But don't worry things will look better tomorrow. We always have more courage tomorrow."

Emily waited for Aaron to come back into the room, but he didn't. Eventually she got tired, and though she tried to fight it. Exhaustion overtook her.

Hotch didn't go back into the room. He couldn't face her. He couldn't face the possibilities. He was being a coward. He knew it. But he wasn't ready, not yet. He called JJ and had her continue the bedside vigil. He went to his hotel room and slowly undressed. As he did he thought back to that song he had heard in the bar. _Do I want that? Or do I want to let her go? _

He didn't have an answer. He just listened to the silent music in his head. And he slowly drifted off to sleep.

In his dreams the day's events played out differently. He walked into that hospital room. He didn't say anything. He just rushed to her side and kissed her. And it wasn't even a moment later that she was kissing him back. They kissed forever. The world around them was lost in their kiss. No story book kiss could compare. And she did everything the song wanted.

And as he slept a smile appeared on his face.

A big smile. A smile that hadn't been seen since that fateful morning.

_Un-break my Heart  
Say you love me again  
Undo this hurt you caused  
When you walked out the door  
And walked out of my life  
Un-cry these tears.  
I cried so many nights  
Un-break my heart_

A/N Argh no happy ending again. I think the universe does hate them. Or maybe just my muse. But have no fear the end is near. Review and maybe the muses will visit you. That is most rhyme I have ever used at one time.


	10. I need you now

A/N And so here it is the end. Trumpets sound fanfare, confetti falls everywhere, and the crowds cheer. I hope you enjoy. Thank you for coming along with me on this ride. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, alerted and made this their favorite story.

p.s. I own nothing including the song Need you now by Lady Antebellum

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor  
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore  
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind  
For me it happens all the time

The worst thing about recovering. The thing no one tells you about. The thing that drives you mad and is almost worse than the injury itself. Is boredom. Boredom and infinite time. When you're recovering it seems like that is all you have. A never ending surplus of boredom and time.

Time to think.

Time to regret.

Time to dream.

The team came by when they could. When they weren't on a case. Garcia came often. They had finally forgiven her. They were a family once again. … Well almost a family.

He never came.

Jack had come by a couple of times, but it was hard for him. He had so much energy and she could barely move.

She smiled when she remembered the first time he had seen her.

He had walked up to her slowly. He stared at her. He took her all in. He slowly climbed onto the couch where she lay and leaned his little body over her chest, and ever so gently kissed just above the bandage.

Dave looked at him quizzically, "What are you doing Jacko?"

"I'm kissing Emily's boo-boo so it will get better. It got better right Emily."

Emily smiled. "Of course it did baby. You always make me feel better."

Jack smiled real big. He had helped.

But HE never came.

The team brought Jack over. Never him. She hadn't seen him since the jet. And that was only for a moment before the pills the doctor had given her had knocked her out. The last time she had really seen him was in that hospital room. When he had nearly sprinted out.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now  
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now  
And I don't know how I can do without  
I just need you now

The time was killer. At night she remembered his hands on her. His magical hands. She remembered every detail of that night. Every night she remembered. And every night she wished it was his hands and his body that touched her, not her own.

Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door  
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before  
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind  
For me it happens all the time

_Does he think of me? Does he remember that night? Does he go to bed wishing it me touching him?_ These thoughts plagued her mind.

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now  
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now  
And I don't know how I can do without  
I just need you now

She stared at the phone. She wanted to call. She didn't care what time it was. She knew it was late. She knew that even he, the workaholic who barely slept was safely ensconced in dreamland. She didn't care she just wanted to hear his voice. She wanted him to tell her that it was going to be all right. A moment of pure courage overtook her and she quickly stood up and grabbed her keys and purse.

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all  
It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now  
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now  
And I don't know how I can do without  
I just need you now  
I just need you now (wait)  
Ooo, baby, I need you now

Every red light, every stop sign she questioned what she was doing. She thought about turning back. She did it once, but she only got a hundred feet before she turned around again and continued the familiar drive to his house.

She stood in front of his door. She was shaking. She wanted her courage back. All she felt like now was the cowardly lion. She closed her eyes and sent a silent prayer to the gods. She knocked on the door. The sound broke through the silence and scared her. She wanted to run away, but she didn't she had passed the point of no return. She had to see it through.

She waited for an eternity. She held her breath. _Did he hear? Would he answer? Would he be happy to see? Did he still want her?_

After a lifetime stuck on the porch she sadly turned away. And then she heard it. The chain was sliding out of its lock. He was going to open the door.

He had woken from a restless dream. He had dreamt every night for a month. The first night after the hospital. After he had run like a coward, it had been a happy dream. Of a wonderful future. But every night since the dreams had gotten more and more horrible.

She didn't want him.

She had moved on.

She loved someone else.

She had died on the operating table.

She had died in his arms.

That was tonight's dream he had been with her when she got shot. He held her, but she died in his arms. He couldn't save her. Another woman he loved that he couldn't save. He never got a chance to tell her how he felt.

In real life he had a chance. But he had run. Like a coward. _Who runs from happiness?_ _Apparently I do. I don't even have the stones to go see her. Jack's seen her three times. But if I see her I have to make a choice. Am I ready to make a choice?_

The knock brought him back to the world. He was sure he had imagined it. He waited. He didn't hear a second knock. But he could have sworn he heard the first. He waited.

Nothing.

Only Silence.

He waited.

Finally his curiosity got the best of him. He picked up his gun and stealthily moved towards the front door. He cautiously peered out of the peephole. _It's Emily. What is she doing here? What time is it? _

He opened the door. "Prentiss what are you doing here?"

Emily gave him an embarrassed smile. "That is a good question."

"Yes. It is. And you're avoiding it."

_Here it is the moment to put up or shut up. Time to go all in. _"I want to go back. I want to go back to that morning, and I want to grab that girl by her shoulders and say, 'What they hell are you doing? You're running away from your dream guy. You're running away from the sweetest boy in the world. Why? Because you're scared? Because no one has ever loved you like this? Because you're afraid it won't work out? Well trust me running away is so much worse.' But I can't do that. I can't go back in time. I can't change what I did. But I can say I am sorry. I can tell you that I will never do that again. I won't run anymore. I am yours. For keeps. For always. I love you. And if you'll take me back I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

Hotch rocked back on his heels. A heartfelt apology was not what he was expecting at whatever time in the morning it was. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. What do you say to something like that?

The silence was unbearable. _How could he be silent after what I just said? _"Aaron say something."

"Do you mean that?"

"Of course I mean that. Why would I come here at this time of night, and say all of that if I didn't mean it?"

"Because it sounds good. Because it what you read in fairytales. I love you. We both know that. I said it that night not in words, but I said it. And I woke and you were gone. And all you left was note saying you were sorry. You didn't even leave it on my pillow. You left it at the office. And then we go through the next two months, and we are slowly getting back to zero. And then you get shot. And it scares you. And you come here and you tell me everything I want to hear. But what you said, that's a big commitment. In some ways it's bigger than marriage. People understand divorce, but not too many people would understand this. You can't run again. No matter what. Are you really ready for that?" His eyes narrowed and he stared into her eyes daring her to blink.

"I am yours Aaron. For keeps. For always."

And then he was in her arms and they kissed. And it was better than both of them had dreamed.

He picked her up and carried her into their home.

And they lived happily ever after.

A/N So I hope you enjoyed. Please review and let me know what you think.


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